Showing posts with label funny cats. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny cats. Show all posts

Very funny PETS & ANIMALS! Laughter GUARANTEED - Funny animal ompilation

8:20 PM Thêm bình luận

Psychic Daughter

Bill is putting his young daughter to bed one night and as he walks out the bedroom door he hears her saying her prayers. She says, “God bless mommy, daddy, and grandma, rest in peace grandpa.”

Bill rushes back into her bedroom and asks her, “Why did you say the last part?” His daughter replies, “Because I needed to.” The next day, grandpa dies of a heart attack. Bill is worried about his daughter but thinks, “It must just be a sad coincidence.”



That night he tucks his daughter into bed again and once again he hears her saying her prayers. She says, “God bless mommy and daddy, rest in peace grandma.” Bill is now really worried and thinking to himself, “Can my daughter really see into the future?” The next day, grandma dies and now Bill is convinced his daughter can predict the future.



For the rest of the week nothing happens, but on the Sunday night as Bill leaves his daughter’s bedroom he waits outside and listens for any more prayers. Sure enough, he hears her say, “God bless you mommy, rest in peace daddy.” Now Bill is really panicking and thinking, ‘”Oh God, I’m going to die tomorrow!”



The following day Bill is in a complete mess all day in work; a real nervous wreck. He constantly checks the clock, looks around the room and is on edge all the time expecting to die at any moment. He is so nervous that he doesn’t leave the office until it’s past midnight. Once it turns midnight he says to himself with relief, “How is this possible? I should be dead!” He goes home and walks into the house to find his wife sitting on the sofa with a scared look on her face. She asks him, “Where have you been? What took you so long?”



Bill replies, “Listen honey, today I haven’t had the best of days” and he is just about to tell her what has happened when she starts crying and bursts out, “I saw the mailman die yesterday!”



Sphynx are amazing cats ★ Video drole animaux

9:48 AM Thêm bình luận

The Silly Mother

Once upon a time there lived a girl called Maya . One day when she came home from school she went straight to her mother and said ” Mummy , today my teacher punished me for something I didn’t do . The mother was very angry and went straight to her teacher and scolded her , but she didn’t ask Maya what she didn’t do.

when she came home she said “I scolded your your teacher nicely for just scolding you ” then she asked “by the way Maya what is that you didn’t do her mother asked “My homework” said Maya.

The Brahmin and the Crooks

In a village, there lived a poor Brahmin priest.He was pious, dutiful and very superstitious.

One day, the Brahmin left for a neighbouring Village to collect a gift that he had been promised from a rich landlord. Finishing his job in the neighbouring village, he was on his way back carrying his gift-a fat and healthy goat on his shoulders.

Three hungry crooks crossed his path. They saw the healthy goat on the Brahmin’s shoulders and whispered, “That is a very plump goat. Let us trick the Brahmin and take the goat away. We can then make a tasty dish out of it”

They soon made a plan. The three of them went in separate ways.

The first one stopped the Brahmin and exclaimed in horror, “Oh my god! Such a respected priest and carrying a dog on his shoulders? Don’t you know that it is a sin to touch a dog, or a rooster, or a donkey?”

The Brahmin lost his temper. “You stupid fellow, are you blind? Can’t you see it is a goat, not a dog?”

“Don’t be angry,” replied the first crook. “If you think it is not a dog, then please carry on. But isn’t it ridiculous that you are carrying a dog?”

The Brahmin hardly walked a few more yards when the second crook stopped the Brahmin and looked at him in shock.

`How can a reputed priest like you carry a dead calf on the shoulder?” exclaimed the crook.

The Brahmin yelled, “Are you blind too? This is a healthy and live goat and you say he is a dead calf. You are an ignorant fool!”

“All right, sir,” said the second crook. “Please forgive me. Do as you please.”

“What’s wrong with everyone?” wondered the furious Brahmin as he hurried towards his home. “The whole world has gone mad?”

Now it was the turn of the third crook to the Brahmin’s path. “Sir, why are you carrying a donkey on your shoulders? It is going to bring you misfortune.”

Now the Brahmin was confused. Three people have said that the goat was something else. “Have I been given a ghost that keeps changing into a dog, a dead calf or a donkey!” he wondered. “I don’t want this creature.”

“Before it turns into something else, I better get rid of it.” Confused and scared, he threw the goat to the ground and took to his heels.

Coming out of their hiding place, the crooks took the goat and laughed at the stupidity of the Brahmin. Listening to others blindly, he got duped.



Kucing Lucu Comel - Kompikasi Funny Cats

7:57 AM Thêm bình luận

deaf wife

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the  doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response. So, the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?" Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again, there is no response.

So, he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

"Clyde, for the fifth time... CHICKEN!"


Ridiculous cats mating and fighting 2016 ( Loudly )

7:48 AM Thêm bình luận
A FATHER'S LAST REQUEST

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A husband and wife have four sons. The oldest three are tall with red hair and light skin while the youngest son is short with black hair and dark eyes.
The father was on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me: Is our youngest son my child?"
The wife replied, "I swear on everything that's holy that he is your son."
With that, the husband passed away. The wife muttered, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."


LAST MUSICAL REQUEST

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The inmate on death row is scheduled to be put to death by firing squad. He doesn't request a last meal or anything special for his last day.

As he stands before the firing squad he says, "Actually, music is my life. One thing I would really like would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time through, with no interruptions."

The guard nods solemnly and tells him to go ahead.

The inmate starts, "One billion bottles of beer on the wall... ."


MIKE RICCA: PORTRAYING ITALIANS

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You see all these mafia movies; Italians are always portrayed as angry, violent people. That's not right. As far as we Italians are concerned -- hey, listen, we don't hurt people, but people get hurt, you know? Accidents happen! You walk outside, trip and fall on an ice pick, six or seven times, you know? Right away, they blame Vinny. That's not right.


Furious Cats Attacking Dogs!!!

7:43 AM Thêm bình luận
RIDDLE: THE MAN

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A man lives in a highrise on the 15th floor. Every morning, on the way to work, he takes the elevator all the way down to the 1st floor. But when he comes home, he takes the elevator to the 8th floor and walks the rest of the way up. The only exception is when it's raining. Why?
The man's a midget, and can't reach the buttons. When it's raining, he has his umbrella with him, so he can reach the 15 button with it.

MICHAEL COLYAR: ON THE L.A. RIOTS

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All my friends, we was ready for the second riot. No, not like the first one, where we were just grabbing stuff at random -- it wouldn't be like that. I've got a thousand boxes of Pampers; I don't know what I'm going to do with it. No, no, this time we had a list. We were going to get the stuff we need. Everybody on my block has bought a U-Haul.


MARK BRAZILL: L.A. RIOTS

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I'll tell you how bad it was in Los Angeles during the riots -- people were actually flooding into Tijuana. That's how bad it was.


ROBOT BOOTY CALL... ANGEL

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Am I dead, Angel? Because this must be Heaven. Of course, I am a machine and therefore do not experience death.

Cat Attacks a Chow Chow Dog | Stray Dog Attacks a Feral Cat

7:40 AM Thêm bình luận
ROGER RITTENHOUSE: FIVE PACKS A DAY
I've got a friend who smokes five packs a day. He has to wear nicotine slacks. He says he's afraid to quit because he might get heavy. If he doesn't quit, there will be six friends going, 'Boy, he is heavy.'


RODNEY LANEY: EMERGENCY ROOM
And let me tell you something -- if you go to the emergency room and you've got a knife still stuck in your head, you go to the front of the line. You're next. 'Excuse me. I ain't got time to fill out no forms.'


SABRINA MATTHEWS: REFUSING AIRPLANE RESTROOMS
I refuse to go to the bathroom on an airplane because if I'm gonna die in a cartwheeling ball of flames, it is not gonna be in a flying outhouse with my pants around my ankles.

BILL SANTIAGO: ASS-KICKING FROM JESUS
One time, I got beat up by a kid named Jesus. And when you're seven, you can't tell the difference between Jesus, typical Puerto Rican name in your neighborhood, and Jesus, the actual savior. So I was walking around all confused -- you know, guilty. What had I done that the Lord would send his only begotten son down to Brooklyn to kick my ass?