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Cats are simply the funniest and most hilarious pets, they make us laugh all the time! Hope you like our compilation - Funny Cat 2017. Thanks for watching!
"LET us write a book," they said;
“but what shall it be about ?"
"A fairy story," said the elder sister.
" A book about kings and queens," said the other.
"Oh, no," said the brother, "let's write about animals."
"We will write about them all," they cried together. So they put the paper, and pens, and ink ready. The elder sister took up a fairy story and looked at it, and put it down again.
"I have never known any fairies," she said, "except in books; but, of course, it would not do to put one book inside another anyone could do that."
"I shall not begin to-day," the little one said, “for I must know a few kings and queens before I write about them, or I may say something foolish."
"I shall write about the pig, and the pony, and the white rabbit," said the brother; "but first I must think a bit. It would never do to write a book without thinking."
Then the elder sister took up the fairy story again, to see how many things were left out, for those, she thought, would do to go into her book.
The little one said to herself, "Really, it is no good thinking about kings and queens until I have known some, so I must wait;" and while the brother was considering about the pig, and the pony, and the white rabbit, he fell asleep.
So the book is not written yet, but when it is we shall know a great deal.
Bill is putting his young daughter to bed one night and as he walks out the bedroom door he hears her saying her prayers. She says, “God bless mommy, daddy, and grandma, rest in peace grandpa.”
Bill rushes back into her bedroom and asks her, “Why did you say the last part?” His daughter replies, “Because I needed to.” The next day, grandpa dies of a heart attack. Bill is worried about his daughter but thinks, “It must just be a sad coincidence.”
That night he tucks his daughter into bed again and once again he hears her saying her prayers. She says, “God bless mommy and daddy, rest in peace grandma.” Bill is now really worried and thinking to himself, “Can my daughter really see into the future?” The next day, grandma dies and now Bill is convinced his daughter can predict the future.
For the rest of the week nothing happens, but on the Sunday night as Bill leaves his daughter’s bedroom he waits outside and listens for any more prayers. Sure enough, he hears her say, “God bless you mommy, rest in peace daddy.” Now Bill is really panicking and thinking, ‘”Oh God, I’m going to die tomorrow!”
The following day Bill is in a complete mess all day in work; a real nervous wreck. He constantly checks the clock, looks around the room and is on edge all the time expecting to die at any moment. He is so nervous that he doesn’t leave the office until it’s past midnight. Once it turns midnight he says to himself with relief, “How is this possible? I should be dead!” He goes home and walks into the house to find his wife sitting on the sofa with a scared look on her face. She asks him, “Where have you been? What took you so long?”
Bill replies, “Listen honey, today I haven’t had the best of days” and he is just about to tell her what has happened when she starts crying and bursts out, “I saw the mailman die yesterday!”
Once upon a time there lived a girl called Maya . One day when she came home from school she went straight to her mother and said ” Mummy , today my teacher punished me for something I didn’t do . The mother was very angry and went straight to her teacher and scolded her , but she didn’t ask Maya what she didn’t do.
when she came home she said “I scolded your your teacher nicely for just scolding you ” then she asked “by the way Maya what is that you didn’t do her mother asked “My homework” said Maya.
The Brahmin and the Crooks
In a village, there lived a poor Brahmin priest.He was pious, dutiful and very superstitious.
One day, the Brahmin left for a neighbouring Village to collect a gift that he had been promised from a rich landlord. Finishing his job in the neighbouring village, he was on his way back carrying his gift-a fat and healthy goat on his shoulders.
Three hungry crooks crossed his path. They saw the healthy goat on the Brahmin’s shoulders and whispered, “That is a very plump goat. Let us trick the Brahmin and take the goat away. We can then make a tasty dish out of it”
They soon made a plan. The three of them went in separate ways.
The first one stopped the Brahmin and exclaimed in horror, “Oh my god! Such a respected priest and carrying a dog on his shoulders? Don’t you know that it is a sin to touch a dog, or a rooster, or a donkey?”
The Brahmin lost his temper. “You stupid fellow, are you blind? Can’t you see it is a goat, not a dog?”
“Don’t be angry,” replied the first crook. “If you think it is not a dog, then please carry on. But isn’t it ridiculous that you are carrying a dog?”
The Brahmin hardly walked a few more yards when the second crook stopped the Brahmin and looked at him in shock.
`How can a reputed priest like you carry a dead calf on the shoulder?” exclaimed the crook.
The Brahmin yelled, “Are you blind too? This is a healthy and live goat and you say he is a dead calf. You are an ignorant fool!”
“All right, sir,” said the second crook. “Please forgive me. Do as you please.”
“What’s wrong with everyone?” wondered the furious Brahmin as he hurried towards his home. “The whole world has gone mad?”
Now it was the turn of the third crook to the Brahmin’s path. “Sir, why are you carrying a donkey on your shoulders? It is going to bring you misfortune.”
Now the Brahmin was confused. Three people have said that the goat was something else. “Have I been given a ghost that keeps changing into a dog, a dead calf or a donkey!” he wondered. “I don’t want this creature.”
“Before it turns into something else, I better get rid of it.” Confused and scared, he threw the goat to the ground and took to his heels.
Coming out of their hiding place, the crooks took the goat and laughed at the stupidity of the Brahmin. Listening to others blindly, he got duped.
On a hot summer day, a Bald Man was sitting in his sweet shop. A lot of flies were buzzing around the tasty, tempting sweets to sit on them.
The Man thought to himself, ‘I must not let any fly sit on the sweets or my sweets will get spoilt and then who would buy them?’ So, he constantly moved his hands left and right and up and down to fly them away.
A Fly saw this and sat on the bald head of the Man and bit it.
The Bald Man got out and slapped his head in order to kill the Fly. The Fly at once flew from the Man’s head and said mockingly, “Stupid Man! You tried to kill me for just biting you. Look! You hurt yourself by slapping your own head hard.”
The Man said to the Fly, “I did not hit myself intentionally, so I am not feeling bad. But you are a very bad Fly. You suck human-blood and trouble them for no reason. I am ready to suffer a bigger loss than hitting myself if I can just kill you!”
A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"
No response. So, the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?" Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"
Again he gets no response.
So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?"
Again, there is no response.
So, he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"
LUCKY BREAKS & CRYING SHAMES Q: What is the definition of a "lucky break"? A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff. Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"? A: There was an empty seat. RONDELL SHERIDAN: GAMBLING People always get mad at the dealers. It's not the dealer's fault; it's random luck that they dealt the cards to you. You know, my guy was trying to be good. He's like, 'Hey man, you get 'em next time.' I just lost $2,000! I'm like, 'Yeah, I'll have a gun next time. We'll be playing a new game.' JIM SHORT: JIM MORRISON'S GRAVESITE IN FRANCE They were tired because they had to go every day and clean up the grave, clean up condoms and beer cans and bottles, needles, trash all over the place. That's what's so cool -- when you're getting kicked out for partying, and you've been dead since 1971. ON THE CROCODILE HUNTER The snake jumps up to bite him; he blocks it away. He looks up and he goes, 'Oh, he's grumpy today.' Yeah, he's grumpy because you're banging him in the head with a stick. That's the number one cause of grumpiness.
Funny Cats Vines Compilation 2016 (16 minutes) - New Funny cat vines Best of all internet. Funniest cat vines i have seen. I had to upload for you guys! enjoy
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When you're in California and you think about New York, right off you think about the mob. Right? You think about the mob. And when the mob wants to take somebody out, they take that guy out -- that's it. Nothing to it: organized crime. In South Central, we got unorganized crime. 'Did you get him?' 'I got somebody....'
QUINN DAHLE: ONE YOU LOVE
Man, no one can piss you off like the one you love. You ever notice that? Oh, I love my girlfriend, but sometimes I want to grow old with her just to watch her die.
VINCE MORRIS: DON'T DIE DOING SOMETHING YOU LOVE
You ever hear people saying things like that? 'He died, but he died doing something he loved.' Like that's the best time to die, when you're doing something you love? No, you want to die when you're doing something you hate. I mean, if you're going to take me, take me in the middle of an audit.
SOMMORE: YOU GOT TO BE FAIR
You got to be fair. Because I see a lot of stuff going on that's just not fair -- like Vice President Dick Cheney. Dick Cheney shot somebody in the face, and then nothing happened. Nothing happened. Now, am I right or am I wrong, but when President Clinton shot somebody in the face....
So, I've been temping at the job that laid me off. And that's awkward because everybody knows I got canned, and they think I've come back to shoot them.
ELIZ WRIGHT: AFTER ALL THAT
If I've invested precious time and energy in a relationship, and I've been honest and open, hanging and coping, true blue, a good screw, to some fly guy who's out constantly getting high, then I'm dumped -- suicide is not one of my thoughts. I'm thinking maybe homicide.
GARY LAZER: MISSING NEW YORK'S SUBWAYS
I miss New York. I miss the subways, believe it or not. So, what I do is I have a tape recording of just the sound of the subway, and every morning, I get up, I go into my closet, I close the door, I put the tape on, and I just hang there with my clothes for a while. Then I turn to my overcoat, and I go, 'No, you shut up, pal, alright?' Then I stab myself a few times, and I feel like I'm home.
JEFF STILSON: FROM SEATTLE TO NEW YORK CITY
I moved here about 13 years ago from Seattle, Washington. I left a city that has a high suicide rate for a city that has a high homicide rate. I guess I'm just not a 'do-it-yourself' kind of person.
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I think we know when they're happy; we know when they're crying; we know when they're pissed off. We have no idea what order those are gonna come at us. That's why we don't allow women in combat -- 'cause they'd win.
THE DEACON'S LAST WORDS
A deacon is in the hospital and his good friend, a preacher, goes to visit him.
The preacher notices all the medical equipment attached to the deacon. He kneels by the bed.
The deacon motions to a pad and pen on the nightstand. The preacher hands his friend the pad and pen, and the deacon begins to write. Suddenly, the deacon dies.
At his funeral, the preacher delivers the service. He says, "I was with him when he died, and as a matter of fact, I have his last thought in my coat pocket here."
The preacher pulls out the paper and reads, "Please, get up. You're kneeling on my oxygen hose."
WORKING ON THE FOURTH HUSBAND
A woman tells her friend she is getting married for the fourth time.
"How wonderful! I hope you don't mind me asking, what happened to your first husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."
"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"
"He also ate poisonous mushrooms and died."
"Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."
"He died of a broken neck."
"A broken neck?"
"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."
Cats are simply the funniest and most hilarious pets, they make us laugh all the time! Just look how all these cats & kittens play, fail, get along with dogs and other animals, get scared, make funny sounds, get angry,... So ridiculous, funny and cute! What is your favourite clip? :) Hope you like our compilation, please share it and SUBSCRIBE! Watch also our other videos!
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MUSIC USED:
"Monkeys Spinning Monkeys" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/b...
