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HE picked a buttercup, and held it up to her chin. "Do you like butter?” he asked.
“Butter!" she exclaimed. "They are not made into butter. They are made into crowns for the Queen; she has a new one every morning."
"I'll make you a crown," he said. “You shall wear it to-night."
" But where will my throne be ?" she asked.
"It shall be on the middle step of the stile by the corn-field."
So when the moon rose I went out to see.
He wore a red jacket and his cap with the feather in it. Round her head there was a wreath of buttercups; it was not much like a crown. On one side of the wreath there were some daisies, and on the other was a little bunch of blackberryblossom.
“Come and dance in the moonlight," he said ; so she climbed up and over the stile, and stood in the corn-field holding out her two hands to him. He took them in his, and then they danced round and round all down the pathway, while the wheat nodded wisely on either side, and the poppies awoke and wondered. On they went, on and on through the corn-field towards the broad green meadows stretching far into the distance. On and on, he shouting for joy, and she laughing out so merrily that the sound travelled to the edge of the wood, and the thrushes heard, and dreamed of Spring. On they went, on and on, and round and round, he in his red jacket, and she with the wild flowers dropping one by one from her wreath. On and on in the moonlight, on and on till they had danced all down the corn-field, till they had crossed the green meadows, till they were hidden in the mist beyond.
That is all I know; but I think that in the far far off somewhere, where the moon is shining, he and she still dance along a corn-field, he in his red jacket, and she with the wild flowers dropping from her hair.
"LET us write a book," they said;
“but what shall it be about ?"
"A fairy story," said the elder sister.
" A book about kings and queens," said the other.
"Oh, no," said the brother, "let's write about animals."
"We will write about them all," they cried together. So they put the paper, and pens, and ink ready. The elder sister took up a fairy story and looked at it, and put it down again.
"I have never known any fairies," she said, "except in books; but, of course, it would not do to put one book inside another anyone could do that."
"I shall not begin to-day," the little one said, “for I must know a few kings and queens before I write about them, or I may say something foolish."
"I shall write about the pig, and the pony, and the white rabbit," said the brother; "but first I must think a bit. It would never do to write a book without thinking."
Then the elder sister took up the fairy story again, to see how many things were left out, for those, she thought, would do to go into her book.
The little one said to herself, "Really, it is no good thinking about kings and queens until I have known some, so I must wait;" and while the brother was considering about the pig, and the pony, and the white rabbit, he fell asleep.
So the book is not written yet, but when it is we shall know a great deal.
Fred was definitely more than a bit dumb? when his pal asked him how he had enjoyed his day at the zoo, he replied, "it was a total con! I saw a sign that said To The Monkeys, so I followed it and saw the monkeys. Then I saw another sign that said To The Bears, so I followed that and saw the bears. But when I followed a sign that said To the Exit, I found myself out on the street."
A bull and a mountain lion joke
If you had a gun and you were being chased by a bull and a mountain lion, which one would you shoot first?
The mountain lion. You can always shoot the bull!
The symbol of pig joke
If an elephant is the symbol of the Republican Party and a donkey is the symbol of the Democratic Party, what is a pig the symbol of?
A couple were going on a vacation together but the wife had an emergency at work. So they agreed the husband would go as planned and his wife would meet him at the hotel the next day.
When the husband got to his hotel and had checked in, he thought he should send his wife a quick email letting her know he’d got there ok.
As he typed in her email address, he made a typo and his email was sent to an elderly preacher’s wife whose instead. It just so happened that her husband had sadly died just the day before.
When the grieving old preacher’s wife checked her emails, she read the one from the holiday maker, let out an awful, loud, piercing scream, and fainted on the floor.
At the sound of her falling, her family rushed into the room. They tended to her and then looked at her computer and saw this email on her screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just checked in to my room. Everything is prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Late one night this guy is speeding down the empty road. A cop sees him go flying past so chases him and pulls him over. The cop goes up to the car and when the man rolls down the window, he asks, “Are you aware of how fast you were going, sir?”
The man replies, “Yes I am. I’m trying to escape a robbery I got involved in.”
The cop looks at him disbelievingly and asks him, “Were you the one being robbed, sir?”
The man casually replies, “Oh no, I was the one who committed the robbery. I was escaping.”
The cop is shocked and surprised that the man has admitted this so freely. He says, “So you’re telling me you were speeding…AND committed a robbery?”
“Oh yes,” replies the man calmly. “I have all the loot in the back.”
The cop is now starting to get angry and says, “Sir, I’m afraid you have to come with me” as he reaches into the window to take the car keys out of the ignition.
The man shouts, “Don’t do that! I’m afraid that you’ll find the gun in my glove compartment!” At this the cop pulls his hand out of the window and says, “Wait here” as he returns to his car and calls for backup.
Soon there are cars, cops and helicopters all over, everywhere you look. The man is quickly dragged out of his car, handcuffed and taken towards a cop car. However, just before he is put in the car and taken away a cop walks up to him and says, while pointing at the cop that pulled him over, “Sir, this officer tells us that you had committed a robbery, had stolen loot in the trunk of your car, and had a loaded gun in your glove compartment. However, we didn’t find any of these things in your car.”
The man replies, “Yeah, and I bet that liar said I was speeding too!”
Walter took his wife Ethel to the state fair every year, and every time he would say to her, “Ethel, you know that I’d love to go for a ride in that helicopter.” But Ethel would always reply, “I know that Walter, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.”
Finally, they went to the fair, and Walter said to Ethel, “Ethel, you know I’m 87 years old now. If I don’t ride that helicopter this year, I may never get another chance.” Once again Ethel replied, “Walter, you know that helicopter is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.”
This time the helicopter pilot overheard the couple’s conversation and said, “Listen folks, I’ll make a deal with you. I’ll take both of you for a ride; if you can both stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word I won’t charge you! But if you say just one word, it’s 50 dollars.”
Walter and Ethel agreed and up they went in the helicopter. The pilot performed all kinds of fancy moves and tricks, but not a word was said by either Walter or Ethel. The pilot did his death-defying tricks over and over again, but still there wasn’t so much as one word said. When they finally landed, the pilot turned to Walter and said, “Wow! I’ve got to hand it to you. I did everything I could to get you to scream or shout out, but you didn’t. I’m really impressed!”
Walter replied, “Well to be honest I almost said something when Ethel fell out but, you know, 50 dollars is 50 dollars!”
A. man was going through a forest. He was tired and sat under a tree to rest.
Near the tree were some bushes. In the bushes he heard a whistle. The man got up and went to look. He saw a bottle lying under a bush. The whistle was coming from inside the bottle.
The man opened the bottle to look inside. Immediately a lot of black smoke came out from the bottle. The smoke rose high in the sky. Then the smoke turned into a ghost. It was a big ghost, as tall as a tree.
The ghost was red in colour. He had red eyes, and large golden earrings in his ears. He roared, “Give me some work or I shall eat you up.” The man was very frightened. “W-what sort of work do you want ?” he asked the ghost.
“Any kind of work,” the ghost replied. “You have let me out from the bottle, so you have to give me work to do. I must keep working, day and night. The moment you stop giving me work, I shall eat you up.”
“Take me to my house,” the man said. The ghost picked up the man. In half a second he reached the man’s house. Again he said, “Give me some work to do or I shall eat you up.” “Make me a big palace,” the man said.
In a few minutes the palace was ready. The ghost again said loudly, “Give me some work or I shall eat you up.”
“Get me plenty of gold and jewels,” the man said. Soon the gold and jewels were there. “Give me some work or I shall eat you up,” the ghost said.
“Get me nice clothes to wear.” At once the ghost brought the clothes. “Give me some work or I shall eat you up,” the ghost said.
“Get me some food.” In a second the man found the table loaded with delicious food. He tried to eat, but he got no time. The ghost again said, “Give me some work or I shall eat you up.”
The man kept on giving work to the ghost. He could not eat at all. When night came the ghost would not let him sleep. “Give me some work or I shall eat you up,” he said.
The man got very worried. How could he eat ? How could he sleep? If he did not find more and more work, the ghost would eat him up.
Then the man had an idea. He told the ghost, “Make me a tall pillar, as high as the sky. And be quick.”
In just a few minutes the ghost was back. “The pillar is ready,” he said. “Now give me some work or I shall eat you up.”
“Now listen carefully,” the man said. “Climb up the pillar till you reach the top. Then climb down till you reach the earth. Then climb up to the top and come down again. Keep on doing so till I tell you to stop. And mind you don’t waste anytime.”
The ghost was very happy, for he now had plenty to do. He went up the pillar, came down, went up, came down. He went on doing so.
The man watched for some time. Then he went inside and ate the food the ghost had brought. After that he went off to sleep.
Next morning he got up and went outside. He saw the ghost going up and down the pillar all the time. The man was very happy.
Many days passed. The ghost kept on going up and down the pillar. At the end of a month he was still doing it. He now felt a little tired. “Please sir,” he said to the man, “may I stop now ? I have been going up and down the pillar for a month.”
“How can you stop ?” the man said. “You cannot stop till I tell you. So keep on going up and down the pillar.”
Another three months passed. Now the ghost was really tired. “Sir,” he said, “I can’t do it any more. I must stop now.”
“You can stop on one condition,” the man said. You must go away from here, and never come back.”
“I promise,” the ghost said.
“Very well, you may stop now. And take away that pillar with you.”
The ghost picked up the pillar and ran away. The man never saw him again.
One fine day, a dirty pig was soaking himself in a pool. A thirsty lion came to drink water, but unable to bear the heavy stench went away. The foolish pig thought that the lion cowed down seeing him and excitedly challenged him to a duel. “Maybe tomorrow,” replied the lion and turned away from the smelly pig. The pig went h6me and told his parents how he had challenged a coward lion. “What have you done you, foolish pig? It’s not you but your stench that made him run away,” explained his father. The dirty pig’s excitement crashed instantly. His father suggested that he should leisurely roll in the dirty waters so that he might stink even more and then meet the lion. The pig listened to his father. As soon as the lion approached him, the foul smell spread around and he ran away unable to bear it. Since then, pigs always keep themselves dirty so that no animal might come near them.
