A guy finds his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in its mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house. He gives it a bath, blow dries its fur, and puts it back into the cage at the neighbor's house, hoping they will think it died of natural causes.
A few days later, the neighbor asks the guy, "Did you hear that Fluffy died?"
The guy stammers and says, "Um... no... what happened?"
The neighbor replies, "We found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him, someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There are some real sick people out there!"
AMY BARNES: TUBA THEORY
I chose the tuba based on this theory: if you're not cool enough to be a cheerleader, make sure you're carrying something big enough to knock one on her ass.
TWO MEN HUNTING
Two men were hunting in the woods when, all of a sudden, one man had a heart attack. The other called 911. Someone answered, and he said, "You've gotta come help me. The guy I was hunting with had a heart attack."
The person said, "Well, you've gotta make sure that he is dead."
So the hunter said, "Okay." Then he left the phone, there was a long pause, then a gun shot.
The hunter got back on the phone and said "Okay, now what?"
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