A lot of things can kill you now. Ain't this ridiculous? Mosquitoes can kill you now. Do you know how mad I would be if I died from a mosquito bite? I'm a black man, grew up on the south side of Chicago. I've avoided drug dealers, gang bangers, sickle cell, high blood pressure, the police -- and now a mosquito gonna take me out?
DOUG WILLIAMS: THE GAY STRUGGLE
You can't compare the gay struggle to the black struggle. You can't do that. First of all, y'all got a closet that you can come in and out of whenever you feel like it. Black people, we ain't got no closet that we can come in and out of. You can't get pulled over by the police at midnight like, 'Oh, I'd better stay in the closet; I don't want to get my ass beat.'
THE DEVOUT CATHOLIC WOMAN
Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 10 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 10 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away.
At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together."
Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?"
The priest replied, "I mean her legs."
WIDOW'S FUTURE
A woman visits a fortuneteller who tells her, "Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, the woman takes a few deep breaths, steadies her voice and asks, "Will I be acquitted?"
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