Sphynx are amazing cats ★ Video drole animaux

The Silly Mother

Once upon a time there lived a girl called Maya . One day when she came home from school she went straight to her mother and said ” Mummy , today my teacher punished me for something I didn’t do . The mother was very angry and went straight to her teacher and scolded her , but she didn’t ask Maya what she didn’t do.

when she came home she said “I scolded your your teacher nicely for just scolding you ” then she asked “by the way Maya what is that you didn’t do her mother asked “My homework” said Maya.

The Brahmin and the Crooks

In a village, there lived a poor Brahmin priest.He was pious, dutiful and very superstitious.

One day, the Brahmin left for a neighbouring Village to collect a gift that he had been promised from a rich landlord. Finishing his job in the neighbouring village, he was on his way back carrying his gift-a fat and healthy goat on his shoulders.

Three hungry crooks crossed his path. They saw the healthy goat on the Brahmin’s shoulders and whispered, “That is a very plump goat. Let us trick the Brahmin and take the goat away. We can then make a tasty dish out of it”

They soon made a plan. The three of them went in separate ways.

The first one stopped the Brahmin and exclaimed in horror, “Oh my god! Such a respected priest and carrying a dog on his shoulders? Don’t you know that it is a sin to touch a dog, or a rooster, or a donkey?”

The Brahmin lost his temper. “You stupid fellow, are you blind? Can’t you see it is a goat, not a dog?”

“Don’t be angry,” replied the first crook. “If you think it is not a dog, then please carry on. But isn’t it ridiculous that you are carrying a dog?”

The Brahmin hardly walked a few more yards when the second crook stopped the Brahmin and looked at him in shock.

`How can a reputed priest like you carry a dead calf on the shoulder?” exclaimed the crook.

The Brahmin yelled, “Are you blind too? This is a healthy and live goat and you say he is a dead calf. You are an ignorant fool!”

“All right, sir,” said the second crook. “Please forgive me. Do as you please.”

“What’s wrong with everyone?” wondered the furious Brahmin as he hurried towards his home. “The whole world has gone mad?”

Now it was the turn of the third crook to the Brahmin’s path. “Sir, why are you carrying a donkey on your shoulders? It is going to bring you misfortune.”

Now the Brahmin was confused. Three people have said that the goat was something else. “Have I been given a ghost that keeps changing into a dog, a dead calf or a donkey!” he wondered. “I don’t want this creature.”

“Before it turns into something else, I better get rid of it.” Confused and scared, he threw the goat to the ground and took to his heels.

Coming out of their hiding place, the crooks took the goat and laughed at the stupidity of the Brahmin. Listening to others blindly, he got duped.

Menggemaskan!!! Kucing Comel yang Imut #KucingLucu #KucingComel

dirty old men

An elderly man in Louisiana owned a large farm for several years.



He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe  courts, and some apple and peach trees.



One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, to look it over, as he hadn't been there for a while.



Before he went, he grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.



As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he got closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.



He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.



One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"



The old man replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."



Holding the bucket up, he said... "I'm here to feed the alligator!"

Some old men can still think fast.

--------------------
doctor jokes

One day, in line at the cafeteria, Bob says to Stanley, "My elbow hurts like crazy. I guess I'd better see a doctor."



"Listen, Bob, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Stan replies.

There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars... a lot cheaper than a doctor."


So, Bob fills a small jar with his urine and takes it to Wal-Mart He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Here is a Doctors certificate for your employer."



That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Bob began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a urine sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and some water out of his favorite fishing hole, just for good measure.



He then went back to Wal-Mart, eager to test the computer. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and waits.



In ten seconds the computer prints the following: "1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant --Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop fishing, your elbow will never get better."



"And, as always... Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart."



--------


Two doctors and an HMO manager died and lined up at the pearly gates for admission to heaven. St. Peter asked them to identify themselves.



One doctor stepped forward and said, "I was a pediatric spine surgeon and helped kids overcome their deformities."



St. Peter said, "You can enter heaven."



The second doctor said, "I was a psychiatrist. I helped people rehabilitate themselves." St. Peter also invited him in.



The third applicant stepped forward and said, "I was an HMO Manager. I helped people get cost-effective health care."



St. Peter said, "You can come in, too."



But, as the HMO Manager walked by, St. Peter added, "You can only stay three days. After that you can go to hell."



--------



A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.



The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted  across the Garage, 'Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?'



The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new... So how come I make $39,675 a year and you get the really big bucks ($1,695,759), when you and I are doing basically the same work?'



The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic... "Try doing it with the engine running."



--------



A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet.



"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds," the doctor assured.



When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.



"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"



The woman nodded and said, "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."



"From hunger, you mean?” he asked.



"No, from skipping!"



--------



5 Surgeons



The first surgeon, from New York, says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because, when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."



The second, from Chicago, responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color-coded."



The third surgeon, from Dallas, says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."



The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles, chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over."



But the fifth surgeon, from Washington, DC, shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable."

Kucing Lucu Comel - Kompikasi Funny Cats

deaf wife

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the  doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response. So, the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?" Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again, there is no response.

So, he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

"Clyde, for the fifth time... CHICKEN!"

Video Kucing Comel Lucu dan menggemaskan - Komplikasi Funny Cat

Dead Duck

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out Of the room.

A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, But as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, A dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!"

She cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

cowboy wisdom

Don't name a pig you plan to eat.

Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong.

Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.

Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plough around the stump.

A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.

Meanness don't happen overnight.

Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

Don't sell your mule to buy a plough.

Don't corner something meaner than you.

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You can't unsay a cruel thing.

Every path has some puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Most of the stuff people worry about never happens.

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Don't judge people by their relatives.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

Don't interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

It's better to be a has-been than a never-was.

The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

Sometimes you get and sometimes you get got.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

Only cows know why they stampede.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

You can't tell how good a man or a watermelon is 'till they get thumped.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Funny Videos Of Funny Cats Compilation 2016 [BEST OF]

Check out these funny videos of funny cats. This compilation of funny cat videos also has funny cat fails and some funny cat vines. Try not to laugh. Mashup Zone is a channel with funny videos of funny animals and funny videos of funny babies or cute videos of cute animals and cute baby animals or cute baby videos. You can find best of funny dogs or funny dog videos and cute puppies and cute puppy videos. You can also find a lot of animal videos, even funny elephant videos or funny monkey videos or funny horse videos or more. If you want a dose of cuteness overload check out the cute videos compilations. Animals and pets, try not to laugh or grin challenge. There's absolutely nothing funnier than cats so try out the funniest cat videos. Pets and animals and their funniest moments will always make you laugh so check out the greatest and funniest animal moments and clips. Also funny cat fails or funny dog fails or funny animal fails or if you're up for some funny vines like funny cat vines or funny animal vines, you can find some. Pets and animals are the funniest and cutest. But let's not forget funny baby videos or funny baby vines or those cute baby videos that melt our heart. Or kittens and cat videos because cute kittens are the cutest. Also most of the videos are safe for children or kids or toddlers. So you they are for children to learn and have fun or for kids to learn and have fun or for toddlers to learn and have fun. So enjoy!