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Cats are simply the funniest and most hilarious pets, they make us laugh all the time! Hope you like our compilation - Funny Cat 2017. Thanks for watching!
"LET us write a book," they said;
“but what shall it be about ?"
"A fairy story," said the elder sister.
" A book about kings and queens," said the other.
"Oh, no," said the brother, "let's write about animals."
"We will write about them all," they cried together. So they put the paper, and pens, and ink ready. The elder sister took up a fairy story and looked at it, and put it down again.
"I have never known any fairies," she said, "except in books; but, of course, it would not do to put one book inside another anyone could do that."
"I shall not begin to-day," the little one said, “for I must know a few kings and queens before I write about them, or I may say something foolish."
"I shall write about the pig, and the pony, and the white rabbit," said the brother; "but first I must think a bit. It would never do to write a book without thinking."
Then the elder sister took up the fairy story again, to see how many things were left out, for those, she thought, would do to go into her book.
The little one said to herself, "Really, it is no good thinking about kings and queens until I have known some, so I must wait;" and while the brother was considering about the pig, and the pony, and the white rabbit, he fell asleep.
So the book is not written yet, but when it is we shall know a great deal.
Bill is putting his young daughter to bed one night and as he walks out the bedroom door he hears her saying her prayers. She says, “God bless mommy, daddy, and grandma, rest in peace grandpa.”
Bill rushes back into her bedroom and asks her, “Why did you say the last part?” His daughter replies, “Because I needed to.” The next day, grandpa dies of a heart attack. Bill is worried about his daughter but thinks, “It must just be a sad coincidence.”
That night he tucks his daughter into bed again and once again he hears her saying her prayers. She says, “God bless mommy and daddy, rest in peace grandma.” Bill is now really worried and thinking to himself, “Can my daughter really see into the future?” The next day, grandma dies and now Bill is convinced his daughter can predict the future.
For the rest of the week nothing happens, but on the Sunday night as Bill leaves his daughter’s bedroom he waits outside and listens for any more prayers. Sure enough, he hears her say, “God bless you mommy, rest in peace daddy.” Now Bill is really panicking and thinking, ‘”Oh God, I’m going to die tomorrow!”
The following day Bill is in a complete mess all day in work; a real nervous wreck. He constantly checks the clock, looks around the room and is on edge all the time expecting to die at any moment. He is so nervous that he doesn’t leave the office until it’s past midnight. Once it turns midnight he says to himself with relief, “How is this possible? I should be dead!” He goes home and walks into the house to find his wife sitting on the sofa with a scared look on her face. She asks him, “Where have you been? What took you so long?”
Bill replies, “Listen honey, today I haven’t had the best of days” and he is just about to tell her what has happened when she starts crying and bursts out, “I saw the mailman die yesterday!”
Once upon a time there lived a girl called Maya . One day when she came home from school she went straight to her mother and said ” Mummy , today my teacher punished me for something I didn’t do . The mother was very angry and went straight to her teacher and scolded her , but she didn’t ask Maya what she didn’t do.
when she came home she said “I scolded your your teacher nicely for just scolding you ” then she asked “by the way Maya what is that you didn’t do her mother asked “My homework” said Maya.
The Brahmin and the Crooks
In a village, there lived a poor Brahmin priest.He was pious, dutiful and very superstitious.
One day, the Brahmin left for a neighbouring Village to collect a gift that he had been promised from a rich landlord. Finishing his job in the neighbouring village, he was on his way back carrying his gift-a fat and healthy goat on his shoulders.
Three hungry crooks crossed his path. They saw the healthy goat on the Brahmin’s shoulders and whispered, “That is a very plump goat. Let us trick the Brahmin and take the goat away. We can then make a tasty dish out of it”
They soon made a plan. The three of them went in separate ways.
The first one stopped the Brahmin and exclaimed in horror, “Oh my god! Such a respected priest and carrying a dog on his shoulders? Don’t you know that it is a sin to touch a dog, or a rooster, or a donkey?”
The Brahmin lost his temper. “You stupid fellow, are you blind? Can’t you see it is a goat, not a dog?”
“Don’t be angry,” replied the first crook. “If you think it is not a dog, then please carry on. But isn’t it ridiculous that you are carrying a dog?”
The Brahmin hardly walked a few more yards when the second crook stopped the Brahmin and looked at him in shock.
`How can a reputed priest like you carry a dead calf on the shoulder?” exclaimed the crook.
The Brahmin yelled, “Are you blind too? This is a healthy and live goat and you say he is a dead calf. You are an ignorant fool!”
“All right, sir,” said the second crook. “Please forgive me. Do as you please.”
“What’s wrong with everyone?” wondered the furious Brahmin as he hurried towards his home. “The whole world has gone mad?”
Now it was the turn of the third crook to the Brahmin’s path. “Sir, why are you carrying a donkey on your shoulders? It is going to bring you misfortune.”
Now the Brahmin was confused. Three people have said that the goat was something else. “Have I been given a ghost that keeps changing into a dog, a dead calf or a donkey!” he wondered. “I don’t want this creature.”
“Before it turns into something else, I better get rid of it.” Confused and scared, he threw the goat to the ground and took to his heels.
Coming out of their hiding place, the crooks took the goat and laughed at the stupidity of the Brahmin. Listening to others blindly, he got duped.
On a hot summer day, a Bald Man was sitting in his sweet shop. A lot of flies were buzzing around the tasty, tempting sweets to sit on them.
The Man thought to himself, ‘I must not let any fly sit on the sweets or my sweets will get spoilt and then who would buy them?’ So, he constantly moved his hands left and right and up and down to fly them away.
A Fly saw this and sat on the bald head of the Man and bit it.
The Bald Man got out and slapped his head in order to kill the Fly. The Fly at once flew from the Man’s head and said mockingly, “Stupid Man! You tried to kill me for just biting you. Look! You hurt yourself by slapping your own head hard.”
The Man said to the Fly, “I did not hit myself intentionally, so I am not feeling bad. But you are a very bad Fly. You suck human-blood and trouble them for no reason. I am ready to suffer a bigger loss than hitting myself if I can just kill you!”
